Taipei  II

In March 1960, while I was still in the U.S., Father received his orders for Sydney, Australia as consul general - the same rank he had held 9 years previously in Japan. The shadow cast from General Chu Shih-ming and Japan was a long one during the tumultuous anti-Communist era! And Father, never a self-promoter, had kept silent about his contributions in Japan and the Philippines.

 

Though Father's 20 years of service remained unnoticed by the higher political powers or the public, Father was always valued by his direct report, immediate superior which would well serve Father after Father's diplomatic career.

 

During his position as the Deputy Director-General in the Department of East Asian and Pacific Affairs (亞太司副司), Father's life was busy but routine. During the state visits of heads of state, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs was short handed to manage the foreign ceremonial activities which kept Father pinch-hitting long into the night. Father thought it would be interesting for me to observe the pageantry of heads of state and obtained passes for me to watch the arrival of the Shah of Iran who was surprisingly, to me, unlike his royal photos. He was actually a slight man, but ram rod erect in his emblazoned uniform. King Hussein of Jordan was even more diminutive. The military pomp and fanfare surrounding their red-carpet arrival bolstered the illusion of power and was fascinating to observe how theatrical it all was.

Representing my Mother in Sydney, Australia at Chinese Women’s Association 1961.

 

My Father and me at Sydney Airport 1962.

 

During those years, Mother's writing career bloomed and our living room was often crowded with Mother's literary friends like Meng Yao (孟瑤), a straightforward personality; pretty and feminine Lin Hai-yin (林海音) ; and Hsu Fang (徐芳), a stately, handsome woman legislator. Notable scholars, colleagues of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and fellow alumni from 附中 and 北大 Beida University were always welcome in our home. I especially remember Helen Chu Hsiu-Rong (朱秀榮), founder of Taipei Private Tsai Hsing Elementary School (再興小學), who was another close friend of Mother's and always exuded a jolly, good natured presence. My 3-year-old brother Philip, barely toilet trained, was enrolled in the youngest class at her Tsai Hsing Kindergarten, often returning home in borrowed pants from having wet his own, under the cute purple ruffled apron with 2 little pockets. Auntie Chu was fondly teased by her classmates for having been a mediocre, mischievous student but turned out to be the most successful entrepreneur of all the附中(Shi Ta Fu Chong high school) graduates among my parents’ high school alums – having established the first private school in Taiwan providing education to the entire age range, pre-kindergarten through high school. To this day, I can still hear Auntie Chu’s gregarious laugh.

 

The second most important person I met in Taiwan after Professor Ying, who would also have a lasting influence in my life was Master Nan Huai-Chin (南懷瑾老師). In early 1957, Mother was introduced to Master Nan and impressed by his brilliant intellect and scholarship. Long troubled by the seemingly meaningless upheavals of life, Mother found the profound Buddhist teachings resonant in her philosophical quest. Until Master Nan, Mother had viewed Buddhism as a superstitious religion of simple country folk or illiterate old ladies beseeching good fortune, protection or benefits. The temples appeared to be redolent of the commerce of incense and拜拜. But Master Nan 's analysis of human nature, delusions and causes of suffering convinced Mother that she had finally found a way to understand and accept the impermanence of life and the inevitability of sorrows including death.

 

One evening each week, Mother would take me to Master Nan 's bare tatami house where a roomful of scholars, businessmen, mystics, government officials and other eccentric talents would banter. One never knew who would show up. An artist? A movie producer? A general? A Taoist priest? A millionaire? Each and all, they showed up. The conversations would skip from esoteric to mundane. Sometimes, someone would read aura's or fortune. Another would expound on a sutra or military strategy. Master Nan’s wife was a sweet, always smiling young woman who would rush around serving trays of tea while dandling a baby in one arm and shushing 3 other little children in the back room. Her young hands were red and coarse from doing housework while Master Nan presided like a privileged potentate. Master Nan was a very small man with distinguished features softened by a wisp of a bemused smile but his eyes could instantly turn laser when discussing a serious matter.                                                               

 

Master Nan and family when my mother and I met them in 1957	1968 when I visited Master Nan

     

On weekends, Master Nan would give a full day lecture hosted at the 1957 Yang Ming Shan home of a prosperous student. A select group of 8 -10 intellectuals would attentively listen to one of the sutras. Master Nan 's social demeanor became stern, without a hint of a smile during those lectures. I was fortunate that Master Nan gave Mother permission to bring me to these weekend lectures.

 

In 1957, I had received my first meditation session from Master Nan in his back room while Mother waited in the living room. Over time, Master Nan taught me mudras and Tibetan mantras which I have practiced for over 60 years. Since that first afternoon with Master Nan when I was 17, I have practiced meditation. After I settled down in the U.S., I attended many retreats with American Zen masters and other Western spiritual teachers.

 

One summer in the mid-1980's I sponsored one of my American teachers, Roshi Philip Kapleau, who wrote the groundbreaking popular book “The Three Pillars of Zen” to meet my first Buddhist teacher, Master Nan. Neither spoke each other's language but verbal language I discovered is superfluous in Zen.

 

I was not to realize Professor Ying's influence on my life nor during my time at NTU until much later. At NTU, I was too self-involved in my school activities and my personal life as a young woman on the brink of adulthood. But it was only because of Professor Ying's disciplined lesson and encouragement that I entered the National Elocution contest a second time. And it was only because of Professor Ying’s  recommendation that I was selected to attend my first International Student Conference in Japan which contributed to my selection for attending the International Student Leadership Conference hosted by the U.S. State Department. And, it was only by attending this conference which afforded me the opportunity of traveling around the United States with my fellow student delegates to visit various universities throughout the country (such as The University of Hawaii at Manoa, The University of California at Berkeley, The University of Illinois at Urbana-Champagne, The University of Chicago and Columbia University) as well as tour The United Nations and attend sessions at The United States Congress and The U.S. State Department. And, it was only because I was in the Washington, D.C. area, visiting these institutions in the Nation’s Capital, that I had the opportunity to meet a young doctor by the name of B. Peck Lau. The ambition of this young doctor to study the treatment of cancer seemed like such an important life's mission. Two years later, in 1962, I married that doctor in Washington, DC.

 

Professor Ying had set me on a new life course just as he had and, in the future, would his many other students. It has only been in the autumn of my life that I have come to truly appreciate how one singular person can change the lives of others by gentle, but skillful guidance, imperceptible even to the beneficiary – Professor Ying was such a person.  Professor Ying lived his life modestly, always with dignity though under indigent conditions, in service to his students without any self-conceit or self-aggrandizement. My Father's character was similar in many ways to Professor Ying. They both lived the quiet embodiment of 仁義禮智信 – authentic Confucian gentlemen: Junzi – in service to their calling with humility and intelligence.

台北（下）

 1960年3月，我在美國參加為期六周的學生領袖國際會議時，父親接到派令，調到澳洲雪梨總領事——和九年前在日本時的職位一模一樣。想想看，那段動盪不安的時期已經是多久以前的事了啊。但父親從來不是好大喜功的人，一直堅守本分，雖然這樣低調的個性沒有受到政府高層的重視，也沒有成為眾所周知的外交官員，但父親的直屬長官都一直非常器重、賞識他。

    除了英千里教授，另一位對我一生影響很大的人就是南懷瑾老師。1957年母親初識南老師，他對於人生和人性有非常透徹的理解與分析。此後每星期的某個晚上，母親總會帶著我去南老師家聽課。到了周末，南老師在陽明山學生家裡講授一整天，大約只有8-10名學生，全神貫注聽南老師談論佛學。南老師特別准許母親帶著我一起上課。1957年南老師第一次教我如何打坐，之後老師還教我手印和咒語。南老師教導我的一切，從我17歲開始就一直深植我心，一生受用無盡。

    英教授對我的影響，我在大學的時候沒有特別的體會，那時候的我滿腦子都是學校的活動，以及個人生活瑣事。由於英教授的二度舉薦，我才能打破救國團的慣例代表國家，跟著各國學生到美國各大學參訪。也正因為這次的機緣，我在華府遇見了一位熱誠而有使命感的醫生，他把癌症的治療研究當成一生的志業，後來我們在1962年結婚。英教授並不知道他的堅持在冥冥之中為我的人生開了一條路，而我自己也是在晚年回首前塵時，特別感念英教授的身教言教，尤其是他提示引導學生的時候，溫和簡潔，不著痕跡地打動學生。英教授一生謙卑自持，不浮不誇，默默為學生付出。我總覺得父親在很多方面和英教授一樣，具體實踐儒家所追求的仁義禮智信。