Ambassador Tien Pao-tai

Vignette 11

Nagasaki (II)

      Since Chicago days, I had become very familiar with father's taste in music: essentially classical Western symphonies and operas with occasional lighter Strauss waltzes. So it was quite surprising to hear twanging fiddles and resonant clapping with loud calls of American Country Western music pouring out of father's sedate study during our early weeks in Nagasaki! It was even stranger that mother was in the study with father, nodding to this country western music and demonstrating dance steps.

 

Usually buried behind books regarding military jurisprudence and Japanese language studies, father was attentively following mother's direction. "Right to your partner, round you go; left hand now and don’t be slow ..." Father and mother were practicing American square dancing for their next party with the Nagasaki American officers!

 

American Square Dance was introduced to Japan in 1946 by the Nagasaki US Military Government Education Officer, Dr. Winfield Niblo, a Social Science and Physical Education PhD from Columbia University before joining the US army as an artillery officer. Assigned to Nagasaki as Provincial Education Officer, he decided that the democratization of Japan would be eased by introducing American country square dancing into the Japanese schools' physical fitness classes.

 

American baseball, introduced in the 1860’s, was revived under SC MacArthur who was overseeing the rewriting of the Japanese Constitution, as well as, implementing new laws regarding far reaching social-economic-political policies such as land reform, voting rights, birth control, education and gender equality including co-education. The United States of America intended to revamp Japan in its own image. The  Americans stated "We won. You lost. What's good for us, is good for you!"

 

In the case of establishing co-education for the Japanese, Dr. Niblo believed that the Japanese strict gender barriers could be lowered by the American tradition of square dancing. In the traditional Japanese "odori" dancing during community Obon festivals, the dancers line up in a single file, execute steps and hand movement in unison, moving in an orderly circle accompanied by rhythmic shamisen strumming, a solo voice chant and drums. Niblo observed that American square dancing also had rhythm, music, a solo voice and communal precision that was similar to Bon dancing. But square dancing required couples to not only face each other, but also to touch and move as partners, which elevates the position of women as equals.

 

In the autumn of 1946, Niblo first introduced this dance at a social gathering of Nagasaki PE instructors. As expected, the initial reaction of the Japanese PE teachers was reluctance. But their courtesy and subservience to their American masters compelled them to follow Dr. Niblo's direction. Niblo put on a Virginia Reel record and demonstrated the steps.  Quickly, the teachers found the steps and music to be much fun and not too foreign in rhythm to their own folk dancing. Additionally, this communal dancing could be enjoyed in doors, not limited to just the summer Obon season. In a few months, the "Niblo Dance" became a Nagasaki craze which spread from almost 50,000 dancers in 1947 to throughout Kyushu and all of Japan. When the god-like Emperor's younger brother, Prince Mikasa and his wife adopted this dance, the Niblo Dance became firmly established in Japan.

 

It was a  psychological and sociological transformation. Niblo wrote in his Square Dance textbook for the Japanese Education Office,  "Dancing people are happy people, and America is happy that this bit of American culture can bring a portion of happiness to Japan". “Niblo Dancing” still thrives today in Japan, legacy of America’s “happiness” project. I read that by 1956 there were about 1 million pairs of happy square dancing feet in Japan and Japan holds an Annual Square Dance Convention.

 

I was a happy spectator to parents' practice lessons. Mother was nimble on her feet and learned to love to dance not only square dancing from Winfield Niblo, but all the popular Western dances such as the Rumba, Fox Trot, Waltz and even Polka! Father's record collection began to sprout a popular library such as "Virginia Reel", "Green Eyes", "Beer Barrel Polka", "Besame Mucho". But despite dance lessons and mother's coaching, father couldn't quite get the rhythm with his 2 left feet no matter how assiduously he tackled this homework.

 

Father fared better with the Tanko Bushi, the Japanese coal miners' dance which father learned to perform at all male parties with his Japanese hosts.  One summer evening, father took the family to a floating restaurant where father had previously been a guest. We sat at tatami tables, dining on Japanese delicacies of which I wasn't too fond except for the deep fried tempura. I shook my head over the raw sashimi delicately poised on my plate and greedily accepted the crunchy tempura assortment. Father chuckled that tempura was actually a European dish, a Portuguese Lenten meatless recipe which the Portuguese Jesuit missionaries brought to Nagasaki in the 1560's called "tempora" meaning "time period" of the Christian holy abstemious days of Friday and the 40 days before Easter. 

 

After our dinner,  Japanese folk dancing followed.  The restaurant owner had recognized father from father’s previous visit and came over to chat with father who was now, after a year in Japan, adequately conversant in Japanese. When the strains of the Tanko Bushi started, the manager proceeded to drag father up to do the Tanko Bushi with the other merry, sake sodden Japanese diners. Following much public cajoling, "Dien"-sama could not continue to refuse without prolonging a public scene. I shall always remember father's embarrassed but earnest expression while pretending to shovel and carry coal in time with the line of Japanese men. Father was admittedly much better at solo than partner dancing when no toes of his partner were in jeopardy. I went home giddily practicing the Tanko Bushi and giggling over father's self-conscious dance performance.

 

Upon father's request, the American Military Government had quickly remodeled a damaged building which the previous ROC Consul Jen had astutely picked out but been unable to obtain renovation.  Above the first floor offices and 2nd floor dormitories, was an empty spacious 3rd floor that father decided to convert into a social hall where my parents could entertain. Being the only foreign consulate in Nagasaki, father directed most of his efforts toward business and pleasure with the American military officers. This warm relationship facilitated fair hearings and considerations for the Chinese nationals hauled in for petty crimes to the American Military Justice Courts over which father presided with the US judges.

 

In our lovely Nagasaki  home, father and mother often hosted dignified dinner parties followed by serious bridge games. Aperitifs, wines and after dinner liqueurs were served in the proper fashion under the exacting "tutelage" of Emily Post's Blue Book of Etiquette. One of my parents favorite guests was Capt. William Yancy, the USMG Medical Officer. He was a handsome, mustachioed young doctor in his late 20's and my dreaded wielder of needles for our inoculations. Uncle Bill, a bachelor, was an appreciative diner, connoisseur of fine wines, graceful dancer and avid bridge player.

 

25 years later when I was living in Fresno, California, I received a telephone caller who asked "Is this Ying-ying?" I couldn't imagine who would know my Chinese nickname until the voice said "This is Uncle Bill from Nagasaki. My wife and I are driving through the Valley and wondered if we can stop by." It was a delightful evening of cruising memory lane. Uncle Bill was a leading corneal implant ophthalmologist practicing in San Diego. He kept up with me on the telephone even after his divorce and retirement when he took a job with the cruise line as their medical officer and the charming “ladies’ man” dance partner. Uncle Bill's happy feet finally gave up when he passed away at the age of 91.

 

I never saw dancing in our home in Nagasaki though our Yokohama home later hosted dance parties in the elegant wood floored living room.  However, on the 3rd floor Nagasaki ROC Consulate recreation hall with the built-in bar, the hardy, polished wood floor was perfect for the wear and tear of happy, dancing feet and loud music.

 

I remember one day mother taking me to the airy 3rd floor hall under the condition that I keep this a secret just between us. I watched mother quietly confer with various staff about decorations, food, service, set up. To keep me occupied, mother told me to count out all the service pieces, glasses, cocktail and dinner napkins on a list for her. Being mother's accomplice in a secret assignment, I was eager to do so and smugly kept a buttoned lip from father, Austin and my classmates.

 

A week later, mother told me I didn't have to keep our secret any more. She said that over the last weekend, everything had gone smoothly according to plan. What had happened was that a month previously, father had started to organize a surprise birthday party for mother and invitations were sent out to their friends. But the myriad of details became too complicated for father: “How many wait staff were needed”? “Where should the cars park?” “Were hors d’ouvres to be served at a buffet or circulated by staff - in what sequence?” “Which dance music selections should be played?” etc.. To ensure the success of the event, father decided to divulge his plans to mother and ask her to please take over. Thereupon, mother made the hasty, furtive trip to the consulate a few days before the party night. On the night of mother's birthday, mother was beautifully dressed to go out, ostensibly. to a restaurant birthday dinner with father. But first, they had to drop into the consulate to check out a minor problem. Mother casually sauntered into the darkened social hall and acted appropriately surprised when the lights flipped on to reveal a large festive gathering yelling out "Surprise! Happy Birthday, Stella!" Every man was impressed with father's skillful finesse and every woman envious of mother's thoughtful husband.

 

Afterwards, mother asked father to not spring anymore such surprises on her, to which father abashedly and quickly agreed.

 

In the fall of 1948, father enrolled my brother and me in the American Military Government Officers' Children's School in the Nagasaki USMG "Camp Patton" compound (a name voted in by the US enlisted men). There were only about 7 or 8 of us who, except for me, were all little boys ranging from 5 -9 years old. The commander of the Nagasaki MG was Col Victor Delnore, a very conscientious administrator but socially aloof man. He left a good impression on the Japanese when he departed in 1949. His 6 year old son, Victor Jr. was a quiet, melancholy, dark haired boy who looked just like his Lebanese-American Jamaican born father. Little Victor was often bullied by the 9 years old Skippy Foltz, the skinny, hyperactive, tow headed son of a captain. Skippy had a BB gun which he bragged he used to target practice on the mailboxes of Japanese houses. The 2 blond haired 6 and 7 year old boys of Major Creighton were duly impressed but I was perplexed that Skippy could do this with such impunity and not be reported. 

                                                       

 

Everyday, we were picked up outside our homes by a small military van and driven to and from the one room school in Camp Patton. In the one room classroom of K - 4th graders, we were supervised at our individual assignments of the day by an American woman teacher who somehow managed to keep a modicum of classroom order among us motley children. Father mused that the one room classroom was not unlike the American early pioneers who set up one-room schoolhouses for the singular schoolmarm brave enough to venture west with the settlers. I have no recollection of studying any particular books or subject matter during that 1948-49 school year. It felt more like a babysitting cooperative than a school. Father must have noticed the lack of academic rigor in the one room school and augmented my studies with Mark Twain's "Tom Sawyer", Lewis Carroll's "Alice in Wonderland", and when father found me buried in Skippy's popular mystery thrillers, The Hardy Boys series, father swapped them out for Conan Doyle's "Sherlock Holmes" and GK Chesterton's "Father Brown".

 

I suppose father's pleasurable memory of his childhood excursions around Beiping with his father was the template for father taking me to events and sites around Nagasaki. We went to visit many places such as the run down Confucius Temple; the 26 Catholic Martyrs' Hill; Dejima Island where the first 17th C Dutch traders were confined in a small block of houses, away from the city and its people.  Father also made sure I attended special events including activities father had invited to the house like the Sophia University choral group during which I was permitted to join the adult guests.

 

Several public events were approved and supported by SCAP as part of his reform program for Japan.  I recall sitting in the audience among hundreds at the lecture of the gentle deaf-dumb- blind activist, Helen Keller and heard her tremulous but clear voice during her Nagasaki good will visit on Oct. 14, 1948.

 

The following year in June 1949, the relic of St. Francis Xavier, enshrined in Rome, was brought to Japan for the first time and paraded around Nagasaki on the 400 year anniversary of the landing of Father Francis Xavier in Nagasaki. Even though we were not Catholics, Father took me to follow the route with the crowd of thousands who knelt before a brown, skeletal right forearm and shriveled hand in a glass case. This was quite fascinating but bizarre to me that St. Francis’ mummified right arm was cut off and separated from his body. Father explained that St. Francis Xavier was a venerated Catholic missionary who had baptized over 30,000  Japanese with that very arm 400 years ago. Father reminded me that the simple hillside memorial cross where he had taken me before was the  memorial to the 26 crucified and beheaded Japanese converts who followed the religion of St Francis.

 

Life in Nagasaki seemed idyllically normal though I could sometimes overhear mother and father worried conversations about the critical state of their country. It was argued among the Americans that President Truman gravely erred by insisting the Russians enter the last days of the war against Japan and, thereby, were able to gain control of Manchuria and half of Korea for the Communists. I was unaware of the implications of these concerns having grown very accustomed to a life of privilege, comfort and leisure.

 

One warm, clear night father and mother told us they were going to visit the owner of our house, Mr. Sawayama(?) who was living on the 2nd floor of a small house just below our little mansion. Through the Sawayama second floor sitting room window that was eye level with our ground floor veranda, I could see father and mother and the Japanese gentleman politely bowing to each other. I thought this situation could be, indeed, very entertaining! I hurriedly assembled 2 chairs for my brother and me on our open air terrace. Each of us popped open a bottle of Pepsi, peeled back a bar of chocolate to watch this live drama just a stone's throw from our porch. Austin and I chatted noisily(指指畫畫) at their ceremonial tea drinking while we guzzled our Pepsi and chortled through all father’s and mother’s decorous mannerisms with Mr Sawayama.  Upon parents' return home, we were so excited to greet them and talk about our splendid inter-active evening with them. As parents stepped through the door, mother glumly shook her head at us but Father was severely grim faced as he removed his shoes at the entry portal. He then grabbed my wrist and soundly gave me the second spanking of my life followed by a walloping for Austin. After father  had tired himself out and Austin and I were thoroughly wept out, he exclaimed "  How shameful that you disgrace me, disgrace an honorable member of the Japanese Parliament (國會Diet of Japan) like Mr. Sawayama... tomorrow you go over to apologize!“ Still deeply embarrassed and angry the next day, father marched us over to bow and apologize while father explained in Japanese that his worthless brats are badly brought up and father is deeply shamed by their unforgivable  behavior.

 

Several days later, father was still seething and growled at us that Mr Sawayama had courteously assured father that he understood how children can be naughty and consoled father to not be harsh on himself. I wondered if Mr Sawayama was implying father should, instead, be harsh on us?! For weeks we slunk around and stayed clear of father but were relieved no further punishment was delivered upon us. The price for that summer evening show was definitely not worth it but it was absolutely as memorable as my first spanking in Chunking for my mischief with the misappropriated gun. To this day, Austin also remembers his two spankings within a year. Perhaps we each needed 2 spankings to set us on the straight and narrow through life as Austin and I never incurred any spankings again.

 

Some months after that sore episode, father took us on a long drive beyond the lush green mountains of our neighborhood and downtown Nagasaki. Up and over the crest of the verdant hills, I was astonished to see a vast desolate plain of dirt. After the car stopped, father took me over to a 3' tall wooden arrow that pointed directly into the ground. Father said it is safe now to stand on this flat soil but this was Ground "0" where the second atom bomb, code named "Fat Man", was dropped on August 9, 1945, three days after Hiroshima!

 

Father recounted that originally the bomb was supposed to be dropped on Kokura, a flat plain like Hiroshima, but thick cloud cover that morning diverted the US B29 bomber to the alternate target, the Nagasaki Mitsubishi shipbuilding and munitions factories. The clouds parted at 11:00 am for the bombardier. At 11:02 am, Thursday, August 9 1945, the second atomic bomb was detonated. A flash of brilliant white lightning was followed by a piercing purple pillar and roiling, gray, double mushroom cloud 40,000' high, spewing a deadly black rain upon the land below. Because the plutonium bomb detonated in the air, there was no crater - just immediate, total annihilation below!

 

The city of Nagasaki itself was mostly spared because the bomb missed by 2 miles and the protective mountain range shielded the city from greater destruction. That was why I didn't see much destruction in Nagasaki city. Over 35,000 civilians were immediately incinerated in the Nagasaki drop zone compared to more than 70,000 at Hiroshima on August 6. I couldn't grasp how many people, 35,000 was and asked father "Children, too? Why?" Father answered, "The Japanese had bombed America. The Japanese and Americans were at war... If America did not drop this bomb, the American president believed a million more Americans would die."  The number "million" was even more inexplicable to me! Father did not respond to my question, “Children, too?”

 

The photo father took of me standing next to the Ground Zero marker shows a somber, scowling girl who could not comprehend the magnitude of the event but understood a deep suffering had happened - even to the children!

 

From the previous 50 years, 23 million Chinese countrymen had died under the Japanese “democide”.  Since the First Sino-Japanese War (甲午戰爭) in 1894 aggression by the Japanese, an implacable hatred of the Japanese was bred in the hearts of Chinese and festered, from their earliest childhood, as a weeping wound in my parents.  When in Chicago, parents heard of the dropping of the atomic bomb, it seemed a just vengeance upon the loathed enemy and a cleansing retribution for the rivers of Chinese blood spilled at the hands of the bloodthirsty Japanese. Yet, in the short time parents had lived in Japan, they could not help but be impressed by the universal civility, order, cleanliness, “shibui” beauty in every detail of life, the reverence for nature and the acquiescent calmness of the Japanese people. Parents discovered much to admire about their former enemy.

 

As a child, Nagasaki was a complicated experience for me to figure out: Madame Butterfly and her heartless American husband; the mystery of religious faith and the cruelty of martyrdom; our pampered life, segregated from the Japanese, on the beautiful hillside - yet, a plateau of death and barrenness on the other side of the hills; the dressed up Japanese cowboys/girls "Niblo dancing" to the tune of their American conquerors and the rigid formality of ancient kabuki; Skippy's audacity with his BB gun compared to our spanking and apology to a Japanese who had to surrender his home to us as reparation for his country's despicable atrocities.





Peace Memorial of the Atomic Bomb Drop Site Aug 9, 1945.

[ Postscript:  When we lived in Japan, my parents didn't discuss the Japanese wartime atrocities anymore, as they had in Chicago. In 2012, I met one of Benjamin's friends and colleagues, attorney Chris Chen who told me his father had been conscripted from Taiwan to a Japanese child labor camp in a tunnel outside Nagasaki that built weapons and submarines. The safety in the tunnel saved the lives of the many child laborers during the American fire bombing.  At the end of the war in 1945, his father was 14 and able to hitch a ride back to Taiwan on a US military ship. His family who had long given him up for dead, was flabbergasted when he walked in the door. There were approximately 40,000 Chinese slave laborers in Japan in 135 camps, but I did not know there were children until Chris told me. Since then, I learned that more than 8000 Chinese children, between the ages 8 and 14, had been pressed into Japanese labor camps. By the time my father had set up the ROC consular office in Nagasaki, most of the Chinese laborers had been repatriated back to Taiwan and China Mainland. In China, 3 million Chinese laborers had been forced into slave labor and women into being "comfort women" for the Japanese troops. Would Thomas Blake Glover have collaborated with the Japanese in building the Mitsubishi industry in 1869 if he could have foreseen the malevolent forces that would be inflicted on his countrymen and the world from that factory?]

以下影片來自YOUTUBE


長崎之二


打從我們到芝加哥以後,父親的書房裡常常傳出西方古典交響樂曲和歌劇,偶爾也會有史特勞斯 (Strauss) 的華爾滋。住在長崎幾個星期之後,書房居然傳來美國的鄉村音樂,歡樂的弦樂聲,合著拍手的聲響,更奇怪的是母親也在房裡,隨著節拍在示範舞步。 平日父親在書房裡都是閱讀有關軍事法的書籍,要不然就是在學日文,現在他在卻在學跳舞,原來父母親為了美國軍官即將辦的舞會,正在練習美國的方塊舞呢。

把美國方塊舞引介到日本的是尼布洛 (Winfield Niblo),哥倫比亞大學社會科學暨體育博士,從軍後在長崎擔任教育軍官。他認為方塊舞應該有助於打破日本人嚴苛的性別藩籬,因此將之納入日本學校的體育課程,並出版了一本教學的書,大力提倡方塊舞。

母親一向身手矯捷,靠著尼布洛的書,不但學會方塊舞,還學會了一般倫巴、狐步舞、華爾滋,甚至還會波卡舞(Polka)母親耐心教導,但父親是個典型讀書人,平日與書本筆墨為伴,跳起這種活潑歡樂的舞蹈,總覺得施展不開來。反而是日本礦工的傳統舞蹈「炭坑節」,父親比較在行,那是他參加一些日本男性的聚會時學會的。

有回父親帶全家去一家水上餐廳,坐在榻榻米上吃日本料理,可惜我只喜歡吃炸天婦羅,對於精心擺放的生魚片敬謝不敏。父親告訴我,天婦羅是葡萄牙的耶穌會傳教士在1560年代帶到長崎,因為葡萄牙人在大齋期(Lent)不吃肉,而以魚烹煮的食物代替,原名"tempora"的意思是「一段時間」,指的是基督教星期五和復活節前40天的這一段時間,教徒需要守齋禁吃肉食。

父親先前來過這家餐館,老闆認識他,所以特地過來寒暄聊天。父親在日本一年,日文程度足以和當地人自在地閒聊了。飯後炭坑節的音樂響起,其他客人在清酒暢飲三巡的微醺狀態下,紛紛站起來,開心合著節奏跳著舞。老闆不斷唆使父親同樂,父親不好意思拒絕,只好加入。我還記得父親有點尷尬,但很認真地和其他人排一列,模仿礦工挖煤礦和抬煤礦的動作。父親獨舞比雙人舞好多了,不用顧慮會踩到別人腳趾頭,似乎輕鬆多了。我回家時還學著炭坑節的動作,取笑父親的舞蹈表演。

父母親常常在家裡宴請客人,大家酒足飯飽之後總是會打打橋牌。宴客禮儀都遵照波思特那本藍皮書,餐前該喝什麼酒,正餐要配什麼酒,餐後的酒應該是什麼,總會安排得恰如其份。

在長崎還有一件有趣的事情讓我印象深刻。有一天母親帶我到領事館三樓的宴會廳,我看著母親忙著和不同的人談論有關布置、菜餚、上菜服務、還有桌上餐具的擺設。母親為了讓我有事做,叫我幫她數單子上列出的碗盤、玻璃杯、雞尾酒杯紙巾和晚餐紙巾等的數量。之後母親特別叮嚀我不要跟別人提起那天的事,我真的嚴守秘密,完全沒有透露給父親、弟弟,甚至連同學也都沒有講。

一個星期之後,母親告訴我秘密計畫已經在上一個周末順利完成。原來是一個月以前,父親想為母親的生日籌畫一個「驚喜派對」,發了請帖給朋友。但是後來他的公務非常繁忙,無法分身顧及許多細節,比方說,需要多少服務人員,來賓的車子要停在哪裡,前菜是要客人自取,還是要由服務生輪流端送,要按照什麼順序,餐後的舞曲要選哪些音樂等等。為了避免任何差池,父親在生日派對前幾天只好向母親坦白,並請她接手協助。母親在最短的時間內打點好一切,到了當天晚上,母親盛裝打扮,假裝是和父親去某家餐廳吃一頓生日餐,但他們得先彎到領事館一趟,因為宴會廳裡有點小問題要解決。母親裝做很不經意地走到黑漆漆的大廳堂,然後燈光突然一亮,所有賓客齊聲喊:「生日快樂!」在場所有男性對父親的精心安排讚不絕口,所有女士更是羨慕母親有這麼一位體貼入微的先生。事後,母親要求父親再也不要給她這種驚喜,父親有點不好意思,但立刻就同意了。

1948年秋天,我和弟弟進入美國軍政府在長崎的小學就讀,學校就在「巴頓營區」(由美國士兵投票選出的名稱)。「全校」學生大約七、八名,除了我以外都是男生,從五歲到九歲都有。軍政府司令維特‧德諾爾 (Victor Delnore)中校是在牙買加出生的美籍黎巴嫩人,非常負責任,但是和大家有點距離。每天,一輛小型的軍用箱型車到我家載我和弟弟來回巴頓營區,那個只有一間教室的學校。這一班學生從幼稚園到小學四年級,每個人有自己個別的功課,由一位美國老師監督。我們幾個小毛頭年齡各異,齊聚一堂,老師得花一番功夫維持秩序。那一年在學校學了什麼,我沒有什麼印象,反而覺得有點像是被褓母看管而已。父親一定看出這種單班混合的上課方式有其侷限,所以讓我閱讀許多書來彌補。那段時間我讀了馬克吐溫 (Mark Twain) 的《湯姆歷險記》(Tom Sawyer),路易斯.卡羅 (Lewis Carroll) 的《愛麗絲夢遊仙境》(Alice in Wonderland)等。後來父親發現我在讀青少年流行的恐怖偵探小說,《哈迪男孩》(Hardy Boys) 系列,他就讓我讀柯南道爾 (Conan Doyle) 的《福爾摩斯》(Sherlock Holmes),以及卻斯特頓 (G. K. Chesterton) 的《布朗神父》(Father Brown)

除了閱讀,父親常常帶我探訪長崎各地,也帶我參加活動。我們去過長崎孔廟、二十六聖人紀念館,以及十七世紀荷蘭商人被限制的住居——出島。還有一次,父親帶我去上智大學的合唱團辦的活動,印象特別深刻。

當時盟軍最高司令部舉辦過幾次公開活動,1948104日,盲聾女作家海倫‧凱勒(Helen Keller)造訪長崎,我和千名聽眾共同在場聆聽她的演講。她的聲音清楚響亮,堅毅不屈的精神,特別振奮人心。

隔年的六月,天主教傳教士聖方濟‧沙勿略 (St. Francis Xavier)原本放在羅馬的遺骨首度在日本公開,並在長崎舉辦盛大遊行,紀念沙勿略到日本400周年。雖然我們不是天主教徒,父親還是帶著我跟著成千群眾一起瞻仰:一個玻璃聖物盒裡擺放著褐色的右手臂骨,連結著枯皺的手掌。聖髑所經之處,眾人皆跪拜致意。我覺得很奇怪,沙勿略的手臂骨為何與他的身體分開,為何大家對他的手臂骨如此崇敬。父親解釋說他是一位令人敬佩的傳教士,當時就是用他那隻右手臂為三萬名日本人施行受洗。父親還提醒我,先前帶我去看的那二十六位被處決的聖徒紀念碑,那些人都是追隨沙勿略的天主教信徒。

在長崎的生活看起來似乎很平靜,但有時我還是會聽到父母言談之間憂心國內局勢。而杜魯門在對日戰爭最後時刻堅持蘇聯加入戰局,讓他們有機可乘,控制了滿州國,並替共產黨守住北韓,對於這個發展,美國人議論紛紛,認為杜魯門總統犯了嚴重的錯誤。而小小年紀的我在長崎享受特權,過著舒適、悠閒的生活中,完全沒有注意到父母的憂慮其實都是事關重大。

我們在半山腰的住家的主人是澤三先生,他們自己搬到我們下方一棟小房子的二樓。有一天父母專程過去拜望他,表達謝意。澤三先生二樓客廳的窗子剛好和我們家一樓的陽台平行,所以我就可以清楚地看到父母和一位日本紳士相互鞠躬。我覺得很有趣,連忙搬了兩張椅子到陽台,和弟弟一邊喝著可樂、吃巧克力,一邊看著不遠處的實境秀。父母和澤三先生喝茶時遵照日本茶道精緻繁複的細節和禮儀,我和弟弟在另一頭大聲指指畫畫。一看到父母告辭時,我們兩人很興奮地跑到門口,迫不急待地要和他們分享我們這邊有趣的「互動」,沒想到母親一看到我們就對我們搖頭,而父親滿臉怒容,抓著我的手腕打了我幾下,這是我人生第二次被打;之後父親也沒放過弟弟,他也被打了。等我和弟弟哭聲停止後,父親生氣地說:「實在太丟人了!你們這樣簡直是在侮辱國會議員,明天就帶你們去道歉。」第二天父親帶我們兩個去鞠躬道歉,他用日本話跟澤三先生解釋說,是自己沒有教好,對我們姐弟的行為深感羞愧。

接下來好幾天,父親的氣沒有消,還是會罵我們。他說澤三先生很客氣,說他知道小孩子總會調皮搗蛋,還勸父親不必苛責自己。父親這麼一說,我就在想,澤三先生會不會暗示父親,應該苛責孩子,不是苛責自己。

一連幾個星期,我們姐弟倆盡量躲著父親,還好他也沒有再處罰我們了。我對於人生兩次被打記憶深刻,或許我需要被父親好好教訓兩次,才能讓我們循規蹈矩,父親也真的從此之後沒有再打過我了。

幾個月之後,父親開車帶我們離開住家四周蓊鬱的山區,經過長崎市區,開了一段蠻長的路之後,映入眼簾的是一大片荒涼的土地,父親把車停好,帶我到一個約三英尺長的木箭所指的地點,告訴我說,1945年八月九日,名為「胖子」(Fat Man)的第二顆原子彈就在此引爆。

當時長崎市區大部分沒有受到波及,因為原子彈投擲時與原本目標差了兩英里,而環繞長崎的山脈也發揮了保護作用。原子彈投下之後,長崎有三萬五千人立即死亡,而三天前在廣島立即死亡的人數高達七萬人。那時候我對於三萬五千人沒有什麼概念,只問父親說:「連小孩也被炸死嗎?美國為什麼要這樣做?」父親回我說:「因為日本人去轟炸美國,美國和日本在打仗,美國總統認為如果美國不丟這個原子彈,可能美國人還要死一百萬人。」我對於一百萬人到底是多少更是沒有概念,但父親並沒有回答我的問題——「連小孩也被炸死嗎?」

父親幫我在那個原爆點照了像,但照片中的我看起來鬱鬱寡歡,當時我雖然無法理解這樣的浩劫影響層面有多巨大,但隱約感受到一種深沉的哀痛,因為那是一場連小孩都無法倖免的災難。

五十年來,中國在日本的屠殺之下,大約死了兩千三百萬人。從甲午戰爭之後,中國人對日本的仇恨漸漸加深,被侵略、蹂躪的痛在父母年幼時就像一道傷口劃在他們心上,這是一道從來沒有癒合的傷口。在芝加哥時,父母一聽到美國投擲原子彈,好像那個刻骨銘心的血海深仇終於得報,大快人心。但是當他們到了日本,親眼見到另一面的日本,迥異於他們心中原本那個好戰嗜血的國家。他們接觸到的日本人在日常生活中講究禮數、秩序、乾淨,喜歡蒼涼的美感,對大自然非常崇敬,無時無刻散發著寧靜祥和的氣質。父母發現了原來他們的宿敵也有可敬可佩之處,不像在芝加哥時那樣議論日本在戰爭時的暴行。

而我對長崎的所見所聞也有很多困惑:蝴蝶夫人為何被無情的美國丈夫遺棄?對宗教的信仰為何會變成殘忍的殉道?為何我們可以養尊處優地住在美麗的山上,而山的另一頭卻是經歷死亡浩劫的貧地瘠土?日本人熟悉的是傳統的炭坑節,他們擅長的是中板的節奏配上簡單的動作,卻為何學習方塊舞,甚至以牛仔裝扮,活潑熱情地跳著征服他們的美國人所熱衷的舞蹈?我們學校的史吉皮說他拿BB槍肆意掃射日本人的信箱,我們姐弟卻因為對日本人不夠尊重而被痛打,還得親自道歉?而這位接受道歉的人因為自己國家的罪行,需要把房子讓給我們住。這些矛盾和對比有多麼複雜,其中的前因後果豈是年幼的我所能理解!

一直到2012年,我認識了兒子的朋友兼同事克理斯.陳,他說他父親被日本強制徵召,從台灣到長崎的勞工營,在一個隧道裡,專門製造武器和潛水艇。美國丟擲原子彈的時候,在隧道的他們沒有受到傷害。他父親在194514歲時,隨著美國軍艦回到台灣。他父親全家一直得不到任何音訊,已經不抱希望,沒想到他父親居然活著回家。當時大概有4萬名中國人被徵召到日本135個勞工營,如果不是克理斯講到他父親的事,我根本不知道勞工營裡有童工,我也因此才知道被徵召到日本的中國勞工中大約有8千名年齡8歲到14歲的童工。而這些勞工在父親在就任長崎領事之前,大部分都被遣返台灣和中國大陸了。我常常在想,如果哥拉巴知道他在長崎的設立的工廠所製造的武器和軍艦,後來為自己的同胞和整個世界帶來多大的傷痛,他在1869年的時候還會協助日本,為明治時期的工業助一臂之力嗎?

Tags: Judith Tien,Nagasaki,田之雲,father